A lot of people are a bit pissed, but I told Hannah about Nicole and I the other day. I never wanted to hide it from her in the first place.
She told us that she's uncomfortable with it and wants us to break up. I told her I'm not breaking up with her just because she's uncomfortable with it. I will still keep what I do in front of her to a minimal.
And my whole thing for not telling her before was I wasn't ready to answer the questions if she had any. I am now.
And it kinda pissed ME off, because they all told me in the beginning whenever I was ready to tell her and answer her questions, they'd have no problem with it. I think they may have thought it would take me a little longer than it did. Or that I'd wait longer to tell her, but we've been together for 6 months and I don't particularly see us breaking up anytime soon.
I know I went off and vented about that shit with her the other day, but I honestly don't think she's cheating on me or anything. I really do trust her. More so than I trust anyone else. I've explained to her I have trust issues. Growing up in the family I have, I think anybody would have trust issues. And after what my ex and ex best friend did to me, it put into perspective how you just really can't trust ANYbody in life. So I just keep my eyes and ears open and pay attention more to details.
I freakout easily too. I can be an emotional wreck sometimes. I can be hard to handle if I lose my focus. Shit, I'm hard to handle even when on focus. Lol. But for the past few weeks, I've just been LOST. I mean, it's hard to explain, but I even FELT lost. I cried everyday for like 2 weeks. I was so gone from stress and just little nonsensical(sp?) bullshit that I totally lost myself.
I apologized to Nicole for freaking out so hard on her with everything and that I was lost for a minute. She said I even looked lost. I had people from work, who've only worked there like a couple weeks telling me I seemed off and not myself. That's how far gone I was.
I got some good advice from a guy friend who, I guess put more into perspective for me. Considering Nic thinks more like a guy than a girl, and no matter what girl I go to for advice on shit, I won't get Nic's POV from a girl. They'd have my POV. Be on my side for it all, because let's face it... Most girls think alike for the most part when it comes to shit like that. So, to have it from another guy's POV, it helped me think a little more like Nic.
She's a very shelled up person, which is why I freak out so easily with her. She says what's necessary and that's it. It's the way she was brought up. And I don't necessarily find that to be a BAD thing, but when you have someone as open and honest as me? I mean, I tell her everything that could even possibly get my in trouble. 'Cause the way I look at it, I don't wanna be the last to know something about my gf like that. You know? And I suspect she doesn't wanna be that last person with me either.
And I believe in being fair. Half and half. Split everything down the middle. I don't like taking more than what I feel I deserve. I will give all I can, but she's not one to take either. So, sometimes we bumps heads.
Like we're polar opposties. I freakout a lot. Her? Rarely ever. I'm hyper, impulsive, irresponsible, childish, open. She's calm, rational, routine, responsible, and closed. Idk if that's a good or a bad thing yet, being so opposite. I mean, it even goes for our moods. I'll be happy and bouncy, she'll be in a pissy or irritated mood. And vice versa.
Idk. But I've said what I wanted to. I hope you all have a good day. I'm gonna go read my book. :D